as good as our song
by Trylan Aire
Summary: There had once been a time when Korra had loved someone other than the firebender from Republic City. And there was a time when the mystery boy loved her as well. It was a little known fact that he never stopped loving her. *Howrra* *Makorra*


**The evolution of the Howrra ship, in my imagination. For those that really know me or have kept up with all of my stories, my headcanon is that Korra had previously been in a romantic relationship with Howl before leaving for Republic City. They never used the word love, though Howl thought he loved her. They had sex, yada yada…and one day Korra awkwardly introduces Mako to Howl. **

**Anyway, enjoy this. Just a series throughout Korra's life with Howl. Mainly through Howl's eyes. In my mind he's a shy, awkward turtle duck. He's the boy next door that Korra corrupts because she's the god damned Avatar!**

**Title: **as good as our song

**Rating: **T

**Summary:** They always said goodbye when listening to this song

…**.**

The little boy shifted uneasily, dark eyes flickering past the little girl in front of him and his Father. The girl was staring up at his Father, lips pursed, hands on her hips. "Avatar Korra, this is my son, Howl. Soon he will be a Guard as well." Kellak says, stepping aside to introduce his youngest son. Howl glanced up at his Father, before bowing deeply to Korra. "I-It's nice to meet you, Lady Avatar." He stammers politely. She blinks at him. "You're funny, Mr. Guard Sir. Want to bend with me?" she asks him, cocking her ehad to the side.

"Uh…" he looks up to his Father who nods. "Yes, Miss Avatar." He tells her. Korra laughs. "Call me Korra." She tells him. "I-I'm Howl." He stutters. "Howl, alright, come play with me. What can you bend?"

"I b-bend fire." He told her. He eyes widen eagerly. "Really? I'm learning earth right now, but firebending is next. Can you teach me some tricks?" she asked him eagerly. "Uh…O-_Oh, _alright." He smiles sheepishly, and blushes deeply when the Avatar takes his hand and drags him off to the courtyard.

"You're my new friend, right, Howl?" she asks him, smiling warmly. He blinks, nodding. "Y-Yes!" He's never had a friend before. The Avatar seems special enough to be his first.

…

"Howl?" the twelve year old questioned. She was sitting in the snow beside him, toying with the element. "Hmm?" he asked, not moving his eyes from the book he held in his palms. "We're friends, right?" she asked, pursing her lips.

He looked up. "O-Of course we are, Korra." He answered. "Good." The Avatar's arms stretched out, and she reclined against him, the side of her cheek resting on her shoulder. "You're a good pillow. Not as good as Naga, though." She told him. He smiled through the fierce blush spreading over his cheeks.

…**..**

"K-Korra, don't do that." He stammered, dark charcoal grey eyes widening. The Avatar smiled, ignoring the White Lotus Guard's pleas. She stood on her toes, cyan eyes narrowed in concentration. Her fingers brushed the sensitive skin on his throat. She toyed with the clasp of his helmet. Her pink tongue poked out of her lips. The helmet was suddenly removed from his head, in the hands of the Avatar. His messy light brow hair hung over his forehead and eyes. "Korra, you're going to get me in trouble." He complained. She smiled, nose scrunched. She jammed the helmet over her head. "I'm a White Lotus Guard, do what I say or else…I'll bend the hell out of you!" she cried dramatically, her hands on her hips.

A smile quirked his lips upward. "Korra, quite before someone hears you. Your supposed to be meditating. Remind me why exactly I go along with your plans?" he asked her. "Because I'm the _Avatar, _Howl. And also because you love me." She told him. Howl's cheeks flushed and he moved to take his helmet back. "Nope, not so fast, Howl." She chided, taking a quick step back. Her hand moved up, taking his. "You know how this works by now." She told him, grinning. His mouth opened, yet he was unable to form a sentence. "Korra-I-this is inappropriate…" he stammered sheepishly. The Avatar smiled as she stood on her toes, pressing her lips to his. Once their lips touched, Howl's cheeks reddened. Her fingers tangled in his mussed sandy brown hair, fingertips brushing the soft skin at the nape of his neck. Howl was ever the gentlemen, delicately holding her smaller body to his lanky one, a hand on the small of her back.

When they parted, she smiled in satisfaction, unclasping his helmet and returning it to him. She always insisted upon doing it herself, though. It brought her some sort of odd joy. She claimed she liked a man in uniform.

…

"Howl, look what I can do now!" The Avatar cried out. The fourteen year old girl smiled victoriously, stomping her bare foot to the earth. A small stump rose beneath her, leveling her with his height. Before the boy could respond, her lips were on his. She had taken a step back as quickly as her lips had touched his.

"Now for fire." She had sang out, pursing her lips.

…

"K-Korra." He rasped, cheeks inflamed as her fingertips dragged over his bare skin. She arched into his body, lifting her lips and pressing them to his. His own hands were gently moving over her bare skin, caressing the smooth flesh. He felt her gasp into his lips, as his fingers gently brushed a particularly tender spot. "Howl…" she breathed, lowering her lips and brushing them over his collarbone.

"I want you." She told him, hands moving to cup his face. "I _need _you." He returned. Her cyan eyes widened in surprise, yet her lips pressed into his, and he knew she needed him as well. She was sixteen, he was eighteen. She had banned the love word, and honestly he didn't know if what they were doing was love.

He cared for Korra, cared for her deeply. His affection was undeniable, and hers was as well. It was obvious the two were involved, yet just how deeply was a mystery to everyone. It was forbidden for a Guard to 'fraternize' with the Avatar, but Korra made it clear their 'relationship' would continue without a word to Katara or her Parents.

His fingers raked through her hair, moving down her body to gently cup her hips. "Howl…do it." She insisted. "It will hurt." He breathed. "I said _just do it_." She repeated, her forehead pressing to his. He tipped his head back, pressing his lips once more to hers. He felt her nose scrunch, and when his eyes opened, her face was pinched. "K-Korra, I'm going to stop-"

"Don't you dare stop." She ordered, her eyes not yet opening. "Keep going." He moved in her softly, caressing her cheeks, thumb stroking her forehead and tracing her features. She gasped aloud, arching into him. "Howl." She breathed. Their bodies moved as one, the rhythm steady. He felt her fingers tangle behind his neck, and his lips found hers. He moaned into her mouth, and she smiled.

…

"I want you to teach me how to dance." She said, leaning casually against the pillar. His eyebrow rose. "Dancing? Why?" he asked her. She shifted uneasily. "We listen to the radio every night, we hear music and I don't know how to dance to them. You do. Teach me." She told him. He cocked his head to the side. "I mastered three elements, Howl, I'm sure I can handle _dancing_."

So he took her hand that night, shyly sliding his hand over her waist. She thought it was silly, he had seen every bit of her body, and even still he blushed like a schoolboy. The music he had chosen was slow, gentle with soft flute music and a steady tempo. "Follow my lead." He told her softly. His tone was so gentle, her eyes rose to meet his. He was staring down at her, grey eyes soft. "Howl." She said. "Korra, are you leaving?" he asked her suddenly. It surprises her, Howl was never one for being subtle. "Yes." She admits. He nods, spinning her. Her back is pressed flush to his body, and she feels his lips on her temple. She's spun once more, her hand pressing to his chest.

"You'll always be my first love." He told her. Cerulean meets ash, brows furrowed over the deep blues. Love. They had both agreed to avoid the word. "I know. You're mine too." She admitted. "I'm going to miss you." His cheeks flush as he says it, and she nods, pressing her cheek to his chest. They rock for a moment, caught up in their goodbyes. "When?" he asks. "Tonight."

He nods, resting his chin on her head. "Alright."

He steps back, bowing and pressing a gentle kiss to her hand. "As you were, Avatar Korra." He says, his voice returning to the stoic, emotionless one he used for White Lotus business. She smiles, lifting the fur around her waist and curtseying. "Likewise, Guard Sir." She returns. And she slips away, leaving him at his post.

It isn't until the next morning, when the other Guards discover her absence that he breaks down. He cries over Avatar Korra. He cries over his first love.

…

"Howl?" He feels her body forcefully press to his before he hears his name on her lips. His ash grey eyes widen in surprise and he stumbles back, arms on her back as he tumbles into the snow. He blinks in confusion, and stares back at the girl.

She's covered in snow, and her eyes are wide. "Korra?" he chokes out. She's nearly in tears. He remembers her gloating years ago that, 'Avatars never cry'. "It's gone, Howl. My bending is gone." She rasps. He stands, supporting her weight as he does so. He wraps his cape around her, holding her to his chest. He's wanted to hold her for so long. This is not how he imagined it happening.

"I missed you around here, Korra. It was so quiet." He tells her softly, lips in her hair. She looks up at him. "I missed you too. No one was there to remind me to mind my manners." She laughed without smiling. His eyes move over her and he realizes how Republic City has changed her. She's a shell of the confident, loud girl she had been the night she danced with him.

…**..**

"These are my friends, Asami, Bolin, and Mako." He notices her voice falter over the last name, and tries not to take this personally. The girl smiles at him, cat like green eyes scanning over his lanky body. "Asami Sato, nice to meet you." She says, extending a manicured hand. He shakes it. "Hey, so you're Howl. I've heard about you." He told him. The boy's (Mako?) eyebrows raise in surprise. "Korra talks in her sleep, and she fell asleep at out place a few times." He explains himself, shrugging. Korra's cheeks are flushed in embarrassment, and he realizes he's never seen that shade on her before. The second boy is silent, his golden eyes lingering on how Korra is leaning against the Guard, her shoulder pressing to his arm.

"Howl is a firebender too." Korra says, sweeping a stray strand of brown from her forehead. "Really? I'd peg you for a waterbender." Bolin points out. "He gets that a lot." Korra laughs, elbowing Howl. The Guard smiles. "I'm from the Northern Water Tribe, I have Fire Nation in my blood." He explains. "Howl helped teach me firebending." Korra says. Howl shifts, smiling sheepishly. "I tried. You wouldn't listen to me." He corrects her. She shrugs. "Minor details."

…**..**

"Since my bending is back, Mr. Guard Sir, I expect some of our old bending games." She told him, two days post regaining her bending. He stares up at her, surprised the firebender isn't at her side.

"I-I don't know Korra." He sighs. She frowns, stepping forward. Before he can react, his helmet is off and on her head, and she's running off. She's laughing, clasping the helmet around her throat and kicking up snow behind her. He hesitates, watching the Avatar run.

It's almost like old times. Almost.

…**..**

The radio is on when Korra is practicing. She's in the middle of a play fight with Naga, her arms wrapped around the massive beast's neck, when an old song comes on. Her eyes snap open, and a smile spreads over her lips. She releases Naga, racing up to Howl. "Come on, dance with me!" she orders, taking his hands and dragging him off to the center of the courtyard. Naga pauses, staring up at the two with dark eyes.

Korra's smiling widely. "Remember this?" she asks. He nods, how can he forget? This was the song they danced to before Korra had left. Everything has changed.

"Dance like we did that night." She tells him, and he hesitates. The girl does have a sort-of boyfriend. She had confessed that she and Mako were together, privately, giving Asami a recovery period. So, she technically was in a not so secret relationship.

His palm settled on her hip, his touch as gentle as ever. She smiles, looking up at him. She's as short as she was the night she had left, and he finds her height _adorable_.

They dance, slowly and easily, making the same movements they had that night. "You're still my first love." She told him. "And you're always going to be mine." He agrees. She smiles, allowing herself to be spun. They pause short, their bodies not making close contact. Her eyes shift. "I'm leaving." This is the second time he hears it. "When?"

"Not tonight. Soon." She tells him. "Alright." He repeats, as he had done before.

…**..**

"What are you talking about? We're friends, Mako!" he hears her screaming one night. He sees her shadow in the firelight, fists balled at her sides. "I saw you two dancing, Korra. That was more than friendship!" Mako retaliates. "You're being ridiculous. Howl's by oldest friend, Mako. We're friends, nothing more!" she snarls.

He lowers his head, the helmet shadowing his face, hiding his expression from the other guards. Nothing more. She was right.

"From what you told me, you were more than friends at one point!" Mako flings back. "You and Asami are friends, and you don't hear me complaining!" Korra shouts. Howl's eyes closed. Mako needed to calm her down. He needed to fan the fire that raged in Korra's heart. She embodied fire. Loud, impatient, brash, bold and forceful. Howl knew this by now.

"Mako, I already told you once. I love _you_, alright?" her tone sharpens. Howl cringes. She said it. Love. The very word she had banned from their own relationship. He hears the wet sound of kissing, and he turns his back to the room.

It seems Mako was everything Korra needed now.

…**.**

He's in the towers when Asami Sato first visits him. Her arms are crossed, and she's thickly bundled in heavy parkas. "Good afternoon Ms. Sato." He says, bowing. She smiles at him. "That isn't necessary. You can just call me Asami. Can I call you Howl, or is it Guard Sir?" she asks. He smiles. "Howl is fine." His eyes return below, where Korra was seated in the snow, eyes closed. She had done this often before leaving for Republic City. There was a ledge she had found at age thirteen. It had terrified him how close she was to the edge.

Naga was beside her, head rested beside her friend. "You love her, don't you?" Asami asks weakly. His eyes rise to meet hers, and he doesn't answer. "Right, of course you do." She sighs. "Did she love you?" she asks, brow furrowed. "I-I don't know." He admits. He sees her stiffen slightly, and he turns to face Korra. Mako walks up, trudging through the snow. His gloved hand slides over her back and she looks up, a smile instantly curling her lips up. Howl remembers he used to be the cause of that smile.

"Did you love him?" he asks her. She frowns. "I don't think so." She sighs. "Love is a tricky thing, Ms. Sato." He tells her. Her brow raises and she nods. "It certainly is."

…

He was on watch the day the Equalists attacked the compound. He was racing through the mob of Guards and chi blockers, launching balls of fire and kicking up ribbons of flame. He sees her in the center of it all, whips of water snapping from one hand, earth rising and launching from the other. Her brow is furrowed in concentration. He's watching her, mesmerized by her pure embodiment of power, when he's taken down. He feels the electricity circulate through his body, and sees her neck snap up at the sound of his strangled yell.

The last thing he remembers is her yelling his name, and feeling wind on his cheeks

…

He wakes up three days later, his head bandaged. Korra is at his bedside, Mako behind her, hands on the seat. "Howl." She breaths in relief when his eyes open. "W-What happened?" he asks. "The Equality movement isn't over because Amon is gone. They're coming back, and they knew I was here. They attacked and you were injured." Korra explained. Howl nodded, glad she hadn't asked specifically how he had been so easily taken down.

She cocks her head to the side. "Are you alright?" His eyes lift to meet hers, and he sees it in her eyes. The fear she had experience for him. She had loved him, once. That much was clear to him now.

"I'm fine." He answered.

…**..**

He hears the cursing before he sees the firebender. When he does find Mako, the boy is leaning against the walls, fists curled, glaring at the snow. "Is everything alright?" Howl questions. What he meant was, 'What happened with Korra?'. They both know the translation. "She isn't a virgin, but you knew that." Mako says. Howl's cheeks flood with color and he lowers his eyes.

"I just want to know one thing. Do you still love her?" he asked. Howl frowns, contemplating the answer. "Yes." He answers. Mako nods, and stands taller, walking past the Guard. "I'm not letting her go anytime soon." He hears Mako say. He's surprised with himself when he returns, "Neither am I."

…**..**

Her laughter echoes through the hallways, filling each room. Howl vaguely remembers a time when he had been the one to make her laugh so freely and loudly. She races past him, tossing a sly smile. She has a crimson scarf around her neck, and holding it like it's stolen goods.

It takes Mako running past him, cursing under his breath, yelling for Korra to stop, to realize that the fabric is stolen goods. It hurts to watch, because he's seeing himself be replaced. The helmet is now a scarlet scarf. Howl's wide smile is replaced with the firebender's crooked one. His charcoal grey eyes replaced by _real _firebender golden.

He lowers his head, watching Korra cease her escape and laugh loudly, swinging the scarf over his head and around his neck. She pulls him down, using the fabric as leverage, and presses his lips to hers.

Mako isn't as gentle as Howl was, but Spirits knows the boy was tender and soft with the Avatar.

…**.**

Howl was woken up to screaming. He raced out of the bunkers, charcoal grey eyes widening. The compound was in ruins. The ice was cracked, ebony ash spread out over the fresh snow. Fire raged around the edges. His eyes went to the sky. Machines he had never seen before flew through the sky. Frantically, he raced through the debris, searching desperately for any sign of life. He broke into the Quarters, calling _her_ name out. "Howl!" he hears his name, but it's not her.

Mako is kneeling, the Avatar's body in his arms. Blood is spattered over her, a large portion of her parka burned away, revealing raw, severely burnt skin. "The bombs…one hit her. It _fell_ on her, directly." Mako explained, brushing a strand of her hair from her face. His fingers lingered on a small scar that was on Korra's cheek. Howl had wondered how that scar had came to mar the Avatar's lovely face.

"Everyone's fighting outside, only a waterbender can heal her." Mako said. Howl nodded. "We need to find Katara, but first we _must_ end this fight." Mako's golden eyes met Howl's and he nodded. "For her." They agreed. Mako gently lay her on her bed, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. "I'll be back, Korra." He promises. Howl silently tells her the same.

The two firebenders run out, their flames fueled with the same love for the Avatar.

The Equalists hadn't stood a chance.

…**.**

"I can't believe I missed it." Korra scoffed, arms crossed over her chest. Her torso was bandaged profusely, mainly to protect her due to the soreness. Katara had healed her hours ago, and since Korra had complained about missing out on the action.

"You should have seen them, Korra! They went all kick ass firebenders on the Equalists!" Bolin told her. Her lips pursed. "You two worked together?" she asked, brows raised. The two firebender's exchanged quick glances.

"You could call it that." Mako agreed.

…**.**

The day she leaves, the Avatar doesn't cry. She simply strode up the Guard, throws her arms around him and squeezes. His hands fall to her back and he embraces her back with every ounce of strength he had. He doesn't want to let her go.

Mako joins them when Korra takes a step back. The younger firebender offers Howl is hand. Howl shakes it and tells him, "Take good care of her." They both know he will. Mako nods. "Of course." He answers .

Howl watches Korra as she boards the ship, Naga following her. She walks to the railing and waves, her wide smile on her lips. This is goodbye again.

He doesn't cry this time. He simply settles down and turns the radio on.

…**.**

He was invited to their wedding in Republic City. He went, of course. Korra looked stunning, a traditional choker Betrothal Necklace laced around her throat. Asami had expertly curled the Avatar's brown hair, pinning some of it up and keeping Korra's traditional front ponytails, replacing the long holders with pale blue beads that matched her eyes exactly. Ikki and Jinora flounced down the aisle wearing blue gowns designed by Asami herself, hair pulled up in traditional firebender buns. It was an even mix of Fire Nation and Water Tribe culture. Meelo walked down the aisle, holding Mako and Korra's rings, wearing his own red scarf around his neck.

Tonraq had walked Korra down the aisle, the gentle man grinning ear to ear. Pema and Senna were tearing up. Even the great Lin beiFong had been caught swiping her eyes, though she had quickly told Bolin to shut his mouth before she did it for him.

Bolin and Asami had walked arm in arm down the aisle as well, being the bride and groom's closest friends. The two had looked delighted with one another, and Howl was happy for them. The two deserved happiness.

During the ceremony, the old, slow tune began playing and Korra approached him, a hand out. "One last time?" she asked, smiling widely. She had led him to the dance floor, and for the third and final time, they dance to their song.

"My first love." He had whispered to her at the song's end. He pressed his lips to her hand and departed.

…**.**

He hadn't seen the Avatar since her wedding day. He had heard she was doing fantastic, recently having a son, and continuing her duties to the World. Howl had read stories about her in the papers, and illustrations of her recently. She was beautiful, as she had always been.

He settled down in a small town in the Fire Nation, two years after Korra's wedding.

He had been purchasing a paper when he met his second and final love. She was an earthbender, with ink black curls and stunning grey-green eyes. She was a quiet woman, not one to speak when there was nothing to say, yet once she got talking, it was impossible to get her to stop. He had told his wife about his relationship with the Avatar, and she had listened with a sad smile on her lips. She understood lost love.

Years later, with his first grandchild on his knee, he heard about Avatar Korra's death. She had left behind a husband, three children, nieces and nephews, a grandchild and a heartbroken World. He had simply pulled out his record player, and listened to their song.

For him, it was closure. They always said goodbye when listening to this song.

…

**I hoped you enjoyed it, I liked writing it. **


End file.
